One Last Kiss
by Casteline
Summary: Why can't you just forget all the pain in the world? Just for a second and focus on something important! SSSB slash


I don't own. Duh.

* * *

**One Last Kiss**

_He had to do it. He knew this. He had no choice._

_No, he did have a choice._

_But he never would have said no._

When Severus Snape entered the kitchen of the apartment he shared, he found Sirius Black sitting on the counter eating a piece of chocolate, seemingly oblivious to the late hour that it was.

"How many times have I told you not to sit up there?" Severus asked, opening the fridge.

"How many times have I told you not to treat me like a child?" Sirius retorted, a smile on his face.

"Maybe I'd stop treating you like a child if you stopped acting like one."

"Yes, but that's one of the things you love about me."

Sirius was surprised when he said nothing in return. These playful arguments could normally go on for at least half an hour.

But Severus, it seemed, was not in the mood for this nightly bicker-fest.

"What's the matter?" Sirius asked, hopping down from the counter and walking over to the other man.

"Nothing. What makes you think something's wrong?"

"You're broodier than normal," he said, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist from behind and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Stop," Severus said, pulling out of his grip.

"See, now I know something's wrong. What is it?"

Severus did not answer. He walked across the small room and sat in one of the small wooden chairs at the table.

"What is it, just tell me."

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning," he whispered.

"What do you mean? Order sending you somewhere?" he replied curiously.

"You could say that." He was now staring blankly out the kitchen window.

"Well, what's the matter? It's not like you haven't left before."

"Not like this," he shook his head. "They're sending me in."

"What do you mean? In where?" But Severus didn't need to answer; he'd already figured it out. "How deep?" he asked, lowering himself into another chair.

"As far as possible."

"How long?"

"Haven't you been listening? I'm going in farther than ever before. This isn't just going to be an in-and-out mission. I have to work my way into the inner circle. That will take a long time."

"No," Sirius said. "They can get someone else."

"No they can't. I'm the only one who's already got the brand." He absently rubbed at his forearm.

"You can say no," Sirius said. "They can't make you do it."

"I have to."

"Agh!" Sirius yelled, getting to his feet and pacing across the room. "Why do you have to be like this? You're _always_ like this. Dumbledore's faithful lap-dog."

"I'm not doing this for Dumbledore."

"Don't even try to lie! Merlin, what if you die?"

"I won't."

"But what if you do?"

Severus could see the fear in his eyes, the pain of the thought of losing him. He to had a fear, that he would return, and Sirius would have moved on.

"That's a risk I have to take."

"The fate of the wizarding world rest on what you can do while undercover," Sirius said, knowing that the conversation was leading there; he'd heard the phrase a thousand times before. "Agh!" he yelled again, running his hands through his hair. "Why can't you just forget all the pain and suffering in the world? Just for a second and focus on something important!"

"This is important," Severus reminded him.

"I meant to you!" Sirius exclaimed, rounding on him, anger boiling to the surface. "For once in you life, do something for yourself!"

"Sirius," he begged.

"No. You know what, go do this. Leave me here alone. Get yourself killed. See if I care." With that, he exited the room and walked down the hall.

It was only a moment before Severus caught up with him and reached out to stop him. When Sirius turned to face him, he noticed tears falling down his face. Severus pulled him close and his companion melted into his embrace, burring his face into the crook of his neck.

"Please don't go," he begged, voice muffled.

"You know I have to."

"I do. But that doesn't mean I can't ask for you not to."

"But you know I'll never give in."

"I know. It was worth a shot though."

"I will be back," Severus said. "I promise you that."

"And I'll be waiting."

They shared one last day together. One last kiss.

Then Severus left, both awaiting their reunion anxiously.

_But neither expected their reunion to take so long._

When Severus did return, nearly a year later, Sirius was gone.

Sent to Azkaban for betraying his friends to Voldemort; for killing thirteen people.

Part of Severus knew that Sirius hadn't committed these crimes.

But another knew that anything was possible and the facts didn't lie.

_And neither expected their final reunion to be one of utter hatred and contempt._

When Severus first saw that dog lurking in the forest, he knew.

And when he saw him again, in the Shrieking Shack, he wanted nothing more than to embrace his lover.

And then he remembered. He remembered why they hadn't been together the last twelve years.

_Neither expected that their reunion would never come._

I never did quite grasp the concept of 'Happy Ending'

Reviews are appreciated.

Ella


End file.
